Unfortunately, it also happens in the Christian marriage, your spouse has left you for different reasons. In our years of counseling we spoke a lot of christian people who were divorced. It is clear, sexual immorality and abandonment, is a biblical ground for divorce. Because the way back to each other is closed, because the basic of their married was destroyed.
Many express their feelings of loss, betrayal and confusion. But, divorce is not the end of the road. We are thankful for the healing and restoring work of Jesus in many people. It isn’t easy, and it often is not what we would have chosen, but there are still choices you can make as you deal with this new situation. Divorce is painful. There is nothing that will quickly take the pain away, it is something that has to be worked through. If you are experiencing divorce, you are dealing with grief, with rejection, with having your heart broken. Going through the trauma of separation and divorce is indescribable!
Someone told us after divorce, “there was a time I could not have shared an encouraging word with others regarding my experience. I was torn inwardly to bits and pieces. I wondered why me? Why our marriage? I wondered why God didn’t come quickly to change everything. Life seemed so hopeless, so meaningless. What did life have to offer now? What was left for me to do?” We can soon feel sorry for our circumstances and for ourselves, and see others who have it so much easier or so much better. But you have to know, the devil loves self-pity. He can produce sin in us such as bitterness, resentment, also anger against those who have hurt us. We are not allow this to take place.
Maybe this is your experience too. In that case we wants to say, “because of the mercy and grace of God, we truly rejoice to tell you that God is greater than any problem. God has so much patience with us in our healing process. He would keep you from going into deep depression, and He can make it possible that you are able to help others who are may be in the same need. He can make you a blessing for other wounded people, because God must have a purpose for your life.
Rejection after Divorce
The first issue is feeling rejected. Your ex-spouse’s rejection does not change who you are and how valuable you are as a person. But you are still a person uniquely made by God – someone with purpose, talents, opinions and who can be used to be a blessing for otherpeople. Rejection is a cruel and degrading experience. Self-worth goes down the drain. Let me tell you, rejection and then divorce are such negative experiences and can become very depressive. We must allow God to take charge and completely take over in our lives.
Turn your eyes on Jesus.
Maybe to felt unloved and unwanted at the moment, God call you to turn your eyes on Him. He is able to move the mountain of pain as well as the obstacles in our marriage, He will revealed Himself so that you no longer see the mountain, but you see Jesus and He will take your hand in His hand, God is right beside us and we need to recognize His hand, His nearness. When you are willing to see God as bigger, greater, and stronger than your burdens and problems, you are able to see a ray of hope as you turn your eyes upon Him. Jesus can remove many mountains for you when you focus on Him and realize He is greater than any of your hurts or problems. He is greater. He is with me. The Bible says that Jesus was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and familiar with grief.
Isaiah 53:3-4 “Men made sport of him, turning away from him; he was a man of sorrows, marked by disease; and like one from whom men’s faces are turned away, he was looked down on, and we put no value on him. But it was our pain he took, and our diseases were put on him: while to us he seemed as one diseased, on whom God’s punishment had come.”
He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows. Jesus had a real healing ministry when He lived among men. He wept. He prayed and showed His love to children, to the sick. Now, He’s right here to touch and heal our hurts also — physically, spiritually, and emotionally. We know He is touched by our hurts and rejection, because He too experienced this from His very own. He too suffered when He was on the way to the cross of Calvary (Heb. 2:17-18). Through all this He is able to help those who are tempted.
Important to know.
He will not give us more suffering than we can bear and He will provide a way out so we can stand up under it (I Cor. 10:13). You need to know someone really understands and cares you, when you have feelings of unloved, unwanted, and rejected by the one closest to you. Jesus is always beside you with outstretched arms ready to enfold you and love you and heal your hurts. He dwells within us by His spirit. His promises fail not!
We need to assure ourselves of this constantly. No human, regardless how dear he or she may be to us, should ever mar or destroy our relationship with Jesus Christ. Nor should we feel our life cannot go on without them, or without their love and support.
Positive Steps to Take
We like to share some additional steps as an encouragement for everyone who are struggling with life’s hurts:
- Be very open with God — tell Him your feelings, your needs and believe in an answer. The will speak in your heart by His Spirit.
- Read your Bible and mark promises or anything that strikes you. Find verses of God’s nearness, His power, and guidance.
- Be willing to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice we need to make: forgiving ourselves as well as forgiving those who hurt us. A deep settled peace and acceptance followed when you have experiences the freedom of forgiveness.
- Fill your mind with positive quotes, poems, and songs which are an encouragement to you. Ensure that self-pity will destroy you, the devil loves self-pity, but it is dangerous.
- Entrust yourself to new opportunities God may have for you. He can restore you by Gods power.
- Praise the Lord through it all, even when you do not feel His presence and love anymore!
- Be patiently, because there is no way through the pain of divorce quickly. God will answer your prayers each day, but the way of new hope and strength will grow slowly back into your life. This will build a stronger foundation in your life and in your spirit. You can discover new blessings, new treasures, and even a new you – if you determine to make an effort each day. God bless you!
If you are going through a divorce or if you would like to talk to someone about your relationship, we’d love to hear from you. You can send us your story, click here.