Someone asked me: If we really love each other, what’s wrong with having sex?
When we want an answer from the Bible, there are many reasons why you should not engage in sex before marriage. They add up to one thing: What you gain by sex before marriage is not worth what you lose by it.
So, what do you gain? A short thrill. Perhaps some momentary pleasure. But what you lose by having sex before marriage can affect your entire life. Let us look at just a few of the reasons you should wait until marriage.
It can ruin your chances of knowing real love.
A girl makes a tragic mistake when she tries to gain love or hold on to it by giving sex. Real love may lead to a marriage, and this is normally followed by sex. But on the other hand, sex does not lead allways to real love. Instead, it often destroys your chances of knowing real love and It can keep you from ever knowing God’s best.
One of the wrong ideas concerning sex is that it is just a physical thrill to be enjoyed with whomever you choose. This makes sex cheap and meaningless, and it disregards certain facts about how we are made.
Sex is not just a physical act.
In sexual intercourse, you and the other person become one. It is such an intimate experience that a part of you remains forever with the other person. When you do get married, you will find that you can never give your mate 100% of yourself. Why? Because you have given part of yourself away to others. To take this lightly is not only foolish but it is plain ignorance of how God made us. Under the right circumstances, sex can be an exciting and thrilling experience, as God intended it to be. But outside of marriage it can be a disappointing.
It is risky, it can result in some BIG problems.
If it is God’s plan for you to be married, He has just the right person in mind for you. But sex before marriage,.. can fool you into marrying the wrong person. If you become involved with someone sexually before marriage, you may think that you have found real love when all you have is the thrill and excitement of sexual attraction. You go ahead and get married and then you discover that you married the wrong person. You find out too late that it was not real love but only sex that was the attraction. Sex before marriage greatly reduces your chances of a successful marriage. One reason is that those who play around with sex before marriage tend to do the same thing after marriage. They are never satisfied, always looking for a new thrill. Sometimes couples engage in sex before marriage, then get married and seemingly get along well. But they have sown seeds of doubt and distrust which will bear bitter fruit later on.
Reasons why you should avoid sex before marriage.
There is one reason that is more important than all other reasons: It is wrong! It is wrong because God says it is sin. Nothing can change that. Sin is that which is contrary to God’s will. God has said that all sex outside of marriage is sin. Sex between two unmarried people is called “fornication.” It is one of the most damaging sins. The Bible says, “Flee fornication…he that commits fornication sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
God says that all forms of normal or perverted sex outside of marriage are sin. People say, “Times have changed,” but God has not changed, nor has He changed His mind about these things. The Bible says:
“Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind [homosexuals]…shall inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9,10).
God wants us to have the BEST
Many young people do not understand why God tells us not to engage in sex before marriage. Some even think that God does not want us to enjoy sex, but this is not true at all. The truth is that God gave commandments concerning sex, not to keep us from enjoying it, but in order that we might enjoy sex to the fullest and over the longest period of time.
There is any hope for you.
Someone reading this may be saying, “I have already jumped the tracks. Is there any hope for me?” Yes, there is hope for you! Jesus Christ can pick you up out of the mud of your sins and failures, clean you up, and put you back on the tracks.
On one occasion, some religious leaders brought to Jesus a woman who was guilty of adultery. They threw this woman at the feet of Jesus and said, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded that she should be put to death by throwing stones at her. But what do you say?”
These men did not care about this woman. They were simply using her as a means of getting Jesus into trouble. If Jesus said, “Do not stone her,” He would be going against the law of Moses. If He said, “Put her to death,” He would be in trouble with the Roman government.
Jesus did not answer them right away. He kneeled down and began writing in the sand. When these men continued to press Jesus for a decision, He stood up and said, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone.”
Those who heard Him were convicted by their consciences and left, one by one. Jesus forgave this woman of her sins and said to her, “Go and sin no more.”
Christ will forgive you!
Jesus wants to forgive you and make you clean in God’s sight. He shed His precious blood on the cross that you might be forgiven of your sins. His blood can cleanse you from all your sins. The Bible says, “…the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from ALL SIN” (1 John 1:7).
You do not need to be afraid to come to Jesus. He forgave the woman taken in the act of adultery. He is “the Friend of sinners,” and He invites you to come to Him. Jesus said, “…anyone who comes to Me, I will in no wise cast out” (John 6:37).
Your part is to come to Him; His part is to take you in. He will not only forgive you for your sins, but He can deliver you from any sin that may be binding you. Jesus said, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8:36).
If this is what you truly want, get alone with the Lord Jesus. Tell Him about your sins. Tell Him everything. He will not reject you. Thank Him for dying on the cross for your sins. Ask Him to make you clean through His precious blood which was shed for you. Ask the Lord Jesus to come into your heart and give you a new life.
“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
If you would like to talk to someone about your difficult situation, we’d love to hear from you. You can send us your story, click here.